Every year, I always look forward to getting a year older. Not because I feel that it would provide me a step to ‘maturity’ (my insecurity), but rather, I look forward to the annual lessons that would summariser my trajectory for the year.
And this year was the same – in that all the answers I was hoping for finally came to me once I’ve abandoned the need for closure. Of course, most of these answers were related to the romance department, but somehow, it resonated with my career as well. For instance, finally being part of a large project that I’ve wanted for so long, or finally being invited to write for another publication after sending my expression of interest for four years straight. Many of these moments were all coming from the importance of patience and letting go.
Despite the many events that has happened to my family and friends and witnessing the economical struggles many industries were facing – 2024 has been a good year to me. Having witness many redundancies around me positioned me to consider my own career trajectory. A folio project that I’ve long abandoned flared back into life, and I was determined to make Do I Have The Right To Teach? come to fruition. Being thrown into the picture of economic struggles also reminded me what I considered some of the hardest moments in 2019 and 2020 – which encouraged me to see things optimistically while forging ahead.
And then there is the good old decision of finally getting registered – which, of course, was catalysed by a tense meeting I had with my builder last year. A meeting about the infamous door schedules and walking down my office corridor led to a small voice in my head saying ‘it’s time’ for me to grow into the next chapter. Although the preparation for the APE (architecture practice exam) generally took half a year, I allowed myself almost a year and a half of preparation (completed my logbook and statement and checking everything before signing up for classes). I picked up a new routine of swimming regularly to give myself a break from studies (also I remembered how nice it was to go swimming again). I made friends from a study group. And then I had fun boosting my confidence by recapping my studies to my friends. While some may find the aspect of studying daunting (to an extent), I was surprised at myself of thoroughly enjoying the content I was reading. Perhaps it was because I was studying towards something, or because I was reading what I had experienced at work – and being able to apply theory and practice had become exciting.
And there are other highlights too. Although I was no longer reviewing architecture on a regular basis – I finally plucked up the courage to ask my aunt for her typewriter. Soon, I was saddled with a lovely writing companion that later became two. The use of mechanical writing device was cathartic and lovely – and it magically pulled me back into the world of fiction that I’ve missed so much.
While last year has been a feeling of walking between motions of black out and a fog, this year has been a journey of being a bit more selective in the things I want. I may not have been writing about architecture as much, but it has been satisfying to finally be able to pick up the mic and record for myself. My anxiety has tempered a little, and while it has veered into near obsessive compulsion – I have accepted it is something that it is a part of me.
Next year – while I will still try to maintain the usual goals of draw, read and write more, I hope I can keep getting better at doing what I do. Especially now that I have successfully opened a new volume as an architect, I am ready to step into another threshold of maturity (professionally and romantically that is).
Here’s to 2025.
This entry was written while the summer sun shines on Wurundjeri Land